Are you radicalizing the one you love?
What the question is asking is whether you’re working to liberate and bolster up the one you love or whether you're doing the opposite – boxing them into a prescribed frame work, making them small and contained.
It can be hard to cut through the ego when this question is posed, especially when the answer is no. When the answer is no the question then to ask is why - why do we fail to radicalize the one we love?
Osho, a controversial and quick-witted philosopher on all things love related, says that at one end, love is power politics. Even if it isn't recognized as such, it is a hierarchy - a power structure. At the other end, love is an all pervasive transcendent state.
Love demands nothing at this highest point - it is sheer joy, given freely, expecting nothing in return.
Most often though the relationships that we have learned from, that surround us, are ruled by these hierarchies that Osho points to. But do these structures and their guidelines on how to love and act in love give us any hope in moving toward the transcendent love that Osho speaks of? Or do they keep us pinned to the political side of the scale, never able to truly be free?
Radicalizing means you see - really see - the person you love with open eyes and an open heart.
First though, you must know and radicalize yourself. Then you can be thoughtful, open, and give freely because it will come from the very clean depths of who you are. In order to do this, you need to free yourself from hand-me-down prescriptions telling you what shape love is meant to take. Love cannot be constructed from the outside. It must blossom from within.
Radical love is freedom for all.
Bolster your partner up in the simple day to day moments. When your person says to you, "I'm going to wear this kitten sweater vest because it’s my favourite in the world,” you respond, “I think more than anything that you should,” because you are able to recognize joy and give it space to flourish.
It is a confused love that puts down, says hurtful things, takes away hope and belittles. So you must look at yourself and look at your life. In your closest, most intimate relationships, ask yourself with sincerity and objectivity – is my love a radicalizing force?
Radical love means that you interlace your fingers and give the one you love a place to step so that they can reach higher. It means instead of containing you explode one another. Through your actions and words, you give your person hope, courage, joy and the light of a love that is unconditional.